Journals
by Seas and Shadows
Summary: When Annabeth finds Percy's journal, what does she do? She reads it, obviously. See her reactions when she finds out how Percy really feels for her. Four-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Yo, peeps! Sometimes I wonder what would happen if the PJO characters had journals, and what would happen if someone found them. Here's my first one, and it's set after TBOTL. No need to Review!**

Annabeth's POV

If I was given three words to describe how I have been, am, and will be, it'll be this- I'm. So. Bored. It was the middle of the school year. Percy was gone, Grover was in Mexico, and I had nothing to do. Out of curiosity, I decided to go into the Poseidon cabin.

The room, as usual, was a mess. The bunks were unmade, drawers were open, a book was half-hidden under a dresser… Wait. Books? Percy never reads. I picked it up and opened the cover.

_Property of Percy Jackson_

_Summer Journal_

I gasped. Seaweed brain owned a journal? And he never told me? Is he hiding something? I flicked to a random page.

_My fault. It's all my fault. If I hadn't been a stuck-up, jealous idiot, Annabeth would still be here._

I checked the date. The day after I was kidnapped. Oh, man.

_Thalia and the whole of camp thinks so too. I'm so STUPID! I've been losing my temper at random times all day, always unfocused on what I'm doing. I've nearly killed 3 campers already. No-one seems to remember Annabeth is gone since Artemis went missing. Even Thalia, Grover and Chiron will only talk about how Artemis is gone, and no-one even considers if Annabeth is still alive. I've even been to the oracle, and tried to figure out if she's okay, but_

I stopped reading for a second. Really? Thalia, Grover and Chiron seem to forget about me the day I'm gone, and Percy actually went to the oracle to find out if I'm okay? Wow.

_even the oracle ignored me, but walked half a mile to tell Zoe about Artemis. Does anyone even care about her? I've had a crush on her since I've met her, _

WHAT!

_and I always have a small hope that she might like me back, but I know that it's hopeless. The way she always talks about Luke… I don't think she even realizes how much I care for her, how I nearly threw myself off the cliff yesterday, if half a dozen Hunters hadn't been pulling me back._

Seriously? I never knew I was like that… I never even knew Percy had a crush on me. I felt like an idiot. Was I that bad at reading people?

_On another sad note (though not half as bad as Annabeth missing) I nearly killed Thalia at the creek, but I had good reason to. No-one ever, ever calls me Seaweed Brain except Annabeth. Annabeth can call me whatever she wants, and I'd never feel angry about it unless she said she hated me. But that wouldn't make me bother either, as I'd commit suicide if Annabeth ever said that to me. But then I would try for rebirth so I'd forget it ever happened. Otherwise, I'd be the first to test if a ghost can die._

I felt like slapping myself. Percy cared for me that much? I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed this at all.

_There was only two things stopping me from killing Thalia there and then with the hurricane I had made behind me._

He is really overprotective of me.

_One, The fact that the oracle had taken a zombie stroll and distracted me, and two, Annabeth would then really hate me. Even worse for today, a quest was issued to save Artemis, (Everyone would have forgotten about Wise girl if I hadn't said anything,) _

Really Feeling the love.

_And I haven't been included. That doesn't matter though, because Thalia, Grover, Zoe, Bianca and that Hunter won't be looking for Annabeth anyway. I heard Zoe tell that to the Hunters, and she's the leader of that quest._

My current two best friends won't bother to look for me?

_So, I've decided that I will. As soon as I finish writing this, I'm taking Annabeth's invisibility cap, Riptide, and Tyson's shield, and I'll go searching for her. My dreams have been telling me she's at a mountain, and from what Annabeth told me before she got taken, I'm guessing she's been taken to Mt. Tam. After what's happened today, I don't think I have a crush on her, but_

He doesn't?

_I love her. I love her, and I always will, no matter what she ever does. I also know that it's one sided. It's a known fact that she only has those kinds of feelings toward Luke. Everyone knows that. If she ever actually loves me back, it'll only be in my most wildest and most hopeful dreams. I hope Annabeth doesn't find out though, because she'll think I'm some sort of freak, and then I _know_ I'll commit suicide. But there is one thing I'm sure of. I saw Luke bait Annabeth, and use her for himself. And I swear on the River Styx that I'll make sure Luke pays for what he did. _

The page ended there. I stood, shocked at what I've read. Percy's loved me for two years? I've never even noticed how he feels toward me? He made an oath to avenge me after I got used by Luke?

A thousand emotions flickering through me, I went to another chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Seas and Shadows, reporting for duty!**

**So… Many…Reviews… I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Disclaimer: Look! It's something that I will never have! It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's the PJO rights!**

Annabeth's POV

I flicked to another random page. Before reading, I had a look at the date. The same day Daedalus died, and Kronos rose. This was about two weeks ago.

_It's official. Annabeth the crush/love that I've had for four years, hates me. First she thinks that Rachel and I have feelings for each other, (which I DON'T! Rachel is super annoying, bossy, and a little bit crazy.) then she wouldn't believe that Kronos has taken over Luke, and that Luke's fighting him, (I overheard that a side effect of such a powerful being inside a mortal's body can occur during moments of shock, like the hairbrush in the eye. One of the side effects is that the mortal's soul occasionally replaces the hosting one, but only during a moment when the host is shocked, weak, confused, etc.)_

I gasped. I never knew that! Then again, I didn't let Percy say anything to me.

_and then she pretty much told me that she loved Luke, not me, no matter what he does to her._

_'And to lose a love to worse than death…' What else would it mean? _

_But I need to focus. Beckondorf and I have been working on a plan to destroy the _Princess Andromeda_ once and for all. I need to forget about my stupid hopes, because it's obvious that they will never happen. Annabeth will never love me, and never will. She's made that clear. Even if she did end up loving me, she would always think of me as the rebound, or the second best to Luke. She'll never actually love me. So I need to stop getting my hopes up. Don't focus on the fact that you're always third wheeling when it comes to Travis and Katie, Beckondorf and Silena, Grover and Juniper, Clarisse and Chris, Mom and Paul, the way Annabeth talks about Luke… Maybe there's a boy version of the Hunters, and if not, I heard Chiron talk about a way I could teleport by becoming mist, almost like Nico… Maybe the Nico and I could start our own type of Hunters when it's all over, I may be pretty much alone all the time, but no-one would miss me, and atleast I won't be the third wheel every moment of my life… and if one of those options work, then I guess suicide is always open… but then Nico would have to face the prophecy, and I promised that I wouldn't let that happen… there's got to be another option…_

I felt like a complete jerk. Was I so thick that I couldn't see that Percy was considering suicide? And that instead of me, or Grover or Thalia or Chiron, the only thing stopping him was a promise he had made to Nico, one that would be finished in less than a year… then what would stop him?

_I've got it! I could go with Tyson and Briares down to my dad's palace, maybe stay with him… I'd never have to be the third wheel ever again, never have to hear Annabeth talk about Luke like he was the saviour of the world… maybe I could even find love… No. Every time I see a pretty girl, I always think of Annabeth. I need to understand that I'll never have a proper love life, thanks to Aphrodite. So, I have my options here-_

_1- Stay how I normally do, and pretend that I don't have a crush on Annabeth, but stay as friends, and try to live my life as the third wheel._

_2- Learn Mist travel, and go on the road with Nico, and try to forget about Annabeth._

_3- Go to dad's palace, and try to forget about Annabeth with Tyson and Briares._

_4- Make a boy version of the Hunters, and try to get distracted by that._

_5- Find a way to return to Calypso's Island._

_6- Suicide._

I stared at the list Percy had written. He had circled #1, and I realized that after all these years, I had been loving Luke, always hoping that he might come back so we could share a love life, but I had never realized how much Percy had cared for me. Had. He's given up all hope now that we'd ever be together, and he was succeeding in hiding all those pent up emotions he's had for the past four years under a façade. Now he was gone on a mission to raid a monster camp with Lee Fletcher and Will Solace, possibly never coming back to camp. I am probably the biggest jerk in the world to make Percy feel like this. When the great prophecy is over, Percy will literally have nothing left to look forward too. As I flicked to another page, I realized that Percy was planning to die, and it was all my fault.


	3. Chapter 3

**Umm… I honestly don't know how much I should apologize. It's been what, five months? Six? Uh… Sorry?**

***Gets chased by angry mob of readers armed with pens.***

***Comes back dressed in rags***

**Um… How about I finish up this chapter?**

***Awkward silence***

**Er… Bye now.**

Annabeth's POV

I suddenly remembered how Poker- Faced Percy was after he saved me from Atlas. I flipped over to the day rapidly. Why was he like that?...

_I honestly don't knbow why I'm going to do this, but I might as well anyway. If Annabeth still has a crush on Luke, I'll survive. Right?_

I found myself nodding along.

_She's become really protective of Luke recently. Knowing how she was there with him after so many years, alone, Luke probably told her some other lie._

I frowned. I thought that I had acted pretty normal. Then again, I can't remember thanking Percy at all…

_Well, the dance is coming up in five minutes. If I'm the kid of this stupid prophecy now, I'm probably going to be killed by Kronos soon. I might as well tell Annabeth now._

I remembered how Percy had seemed all jittery. What was he trying to tell me?

_I'm going to ask her to a dance, and tell Annabeth my feelings. _

Never mind.

_I just passed Aphrodite. She looks like she's going to die from excitement. Weird. It kinda reminds me when I met her in the desert, and how she kept changing into Annabeth._

I thought about the Greek myths about Aphrodite. Didn't she always show the closest person the girl they loved most…

Oh.

_And, there's Athena. She looks furious. I guess she just had a chat with Aphrodite. I'm not _that _oblivious. She looks angry. She's coming towards me-_

I frowned. Again. Aphrodite couldn't be that stupid.

_Man, Aphrodite's sure stupid._

I banged my head against the diary. Typical.

_I mean, all she knows is who's dating who, perfumes, gossip and how long Ares'-_

The rest of the sentence had been scribbled out. I didn't need a supercomputer to figure out what Percy had written.

_Back to Annabeth. I'm wandering off topic. Knowing her, and her new feelings for Luke, she'll do something Annabeth. Like, slap me in the face. Or just walk away, like the Tyson incident. _

He still had a grudge about that?

_Whatever it is, I'm betting what Annabeth will do won't be pretty. Oh, jeez, Aphrodite just found dad… They're talking… Dad just turned pale… Aphrodite added something else… DAMN! Dad just… Is that a heart attack? Oh good gods… Never mind. He's up. And looks kind of strange. He's getting a creepy glint in his eyes… Now I'm not that sure if I tell Beth. Poseidon's either gonna kill me or Annabeth if I tell her now. So, should I? After all, I'll be mauled by two gods and a super-crush. _

I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

_Well, Poseidon's up, and he's coming towards me, looking very happy. I reckon he's gone insane. Stupid goddess of love. If that guy starts telling me what kind of condom to wear, I'll have a heart attack myself._

Now I gave a huge laugh.

_You know what, I love my life a lot. I'm outta here!_

The page ended there. I felt confused. What happened?…

I flipped to the next page.

The first two words were something that I hadn't been expecting at all…

**I know, it's super short, but sue me, I'm dealing with 13 projects and a homework assignment that is over 40 pages long. That reminds me…**

**JEEZ! HAFL OF IT'S DUE TOMORROW! I'M DEAD!**

** Bye!**


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